Becca Jane St Clair

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Aplogy Owed!

I possibly owe an apology to the author of What the F, UK?. A link to her blog was shared on one of the Ex-pat groups on FB and while there were loads of comments on facebook, I think I was the only one who went to her blog and left her a comment.

I wasn’t myself yesterday. As my friend Brigette said about me, I’m usually not that mean…and I didn’t intend to BE mean. I certainly didn’t expect her to go and mark her blog as private or for a comment to pop up on another ex-pat group (by someone unrelated?) claiming that we were “poor desperate housewives” living in abject poverty!

I can’t access the original post any more because she changed her blog to private, but for whatever reason, it rubbed me the wrong way. I think it was the general tone of her post, the attitude I saw in her post, or her use of sarcastic quotation marks. And I left a comment.

It may have been slightly snarky. I went through her long list of “things that are wrong with the UK” that she had written out in a numbered list and I made my own numbered list in response. Most of her complaints I was able to point out that the “missing” thing was present in the UK…though I suppose I shouldn’t have told her that if she didn’t like living in the UK she should go back to the US. ooops.

So I do apologize. I think that had I not been in a bad mood, I could have written a much nicer reply and addressed her problems with the UK in a better way and maybe even extended the arm of friendship.

Will she ever see this? If she’s anything like me, she would have “stalked” me online and found her way to my blog, so I hope she has seen this and I hope she knows that I didn’t mean to be so snarky and that if she needs another American to talk to, she would be welcomed into any of our ex-pat groups on facebook.

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, Networked Blogs, the RSS feed(s), or through an e-mail subscription, please notify me.

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Homeward Bound

My aunt passed away during the night. This morning, Tim and I had a short discussion about if I should go to Pennsylvania or not, and my response was “it’s Aunt Barb”, and Tim said “there’s your answer”, so flights have been booked.

I’m going solo because Tim just can’t ask for the time off this week as one of the other MOMs is currently on holiday and well, one ticket was enough!

I’m heading out on Friday and will arrive in Philly around 3PM and take the train to Lancaster so my mom doesn’t have to worry about picking me up at the airport. I’ll leave on Christmas Eve. Because it’s an overnight flight, I will arrive back in the UK on Christmas Morning. It was the only way to book things and still be able to afford anything reasonable that didn’t involve a lot of crazy transfers and layovers (seriously, one flight I looked at was Birmingham to Dublin, an 11-hour layover in Dublin, then flying to Miami, five hours in Miami, and then onto BWI). To make things easier on me, I’m not checking any bags. I’ve got toiletry type items still at Mom’s and if I need anything, she has a CVS and a Rite Aid around the corner from her house (within walking distance, even). I’m just going to toss a few changes of clothing into a carry-on. Mom has a washing machine, so I can always wash things.

This isn’t the way I had hoped to return to the US for a visit, but I am glad that I am able to. This truly IS the hardest part about being an ex-pat.

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The Worst Part About Being an Ex-Pat

The worst part about being an ex-pat is when tragedy strikes at home.

One of my aunts had a stroke on Sunday, and without revealing private details, I can say that it doesn’t look good.

You always know something could happen, but you never really expect it when it does, do you?

Two weeks before Christmas, if I wanted to get back to PA I don’t even think it would be possible.

🙁

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, the RSS feed(s), or through an e-mail subscription, please notify me.

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LJ Idol Week 5 Re-post – Chasing the Dream

I’m still hanging on with LJ Idol. I took a “bye” week for week 4, so here is my week 5 submission. I’m actually pretty happy that I wound up staying in the competition because it looked like I was in the bottom of my “tribe”, but somehow I wound up 5th from the bottom. Last week’s LJ Idol topic was “Inconceivable”. Here’s what I came up with to post. This also could be titled my journey to the UK. While I class this as “non-fiction”, some of it isn’t quite true to the memories…but for the most part it is.

I flitted in and out of the long line of students waiting to get into Westminster Abbey, taking photos with my new 35mm camera loaded with black and white film. I felt black and white was going to make better photographs of the old buildings, and the man at the camera shop showed me how I could easily swap between colour and black and white film without ruining my photos. My best friend, Erin, was standing in line next to our friend Rob and both of them were laughing at me as I attempted to capture everything I could see with my camera. We were only in London for two days as part of our high school’s music department trip to Europe and I was a huge Anglophile*, so I was soaking it all in.

We finally entered the cathedral** and I was speechless. I joined arms with Rob and Erin and tugged them around armed with the paper guide to the Abbey. We lit a candle for my father, saw where King Henry VIII was buried, looked at King Edward’s Chair, and spotted the Battle of Britain memorial window. The beauty of the glass took my breath away. Standing in Poet’s Corner, looking at the memorials for Chaucer, Shakespeare, Lords Byron and Tennyson, The Brontë sisters, and Jane Austen sent shivers up my spine. I squeezed Erin’s hand and told her that someday I was going to live in England.

I was waiting to see my new academic advisor at Penn State midway through my first year of studies when I spotted the brochure for the study abroad program at Leeds. Dreams of attending the program filled my head as I spoke with my advisor. Unfortunately, attending the Leeds program would do nothing towards my major, but if I was willing to spend an extra semester at university there was no reason I couldn’t apply for the program when I reached my junior year. I swapped my major into International Business, thinking that might give me a leg up on getting to live in the UK. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my boyfriend, about my plans for living in England as it was my secret alone. Unfortunately, my GPA was not high enough to apply for the study abroad program. I was crushed, but still determined to figure out a way to England.

I met my friend John in 1999 while attending a service project for Circle K. He and I hit it off and we became close friends despite attending schools 8 hours apart. John was planning on going to Japan for a semester abroad the following year, and I told him about my dreams of living in England. I was afraid he would think I was silly, but instead, he encouraged me not to forget my dream.

I forgot about my dream. I worked at a local pre-school and after I was laid off, I took a job working as a bank teller. My England dream came back, and I started talking to John about it again. John suggested creating a special bank account for my England fund and to set myself a goal of when I intended to move. It was 2002, so I told John I would give myself 10 years. I made plans to work my way up in the banking world. I thought if I got high enough at my local bank, I could then apply to work for an international bank in New York and then eventually transfer to a branch in England or even find a job with an English bank. I started pushing a small amount of money into my England fund with each paycheque. Only $50 plus loose change, but I did the math and if I continued to save $50/month for 10 years, I would have plenty of money to fund a move. I started telling the people I worked with about my England dream. Most of them scoffed and told me it wasn’t going to happen, it was impossible and inconceivable, and I should just give up. Even boys I dated laughed at me. I was still determined.

Unfortunately, I was laid off two years into my banker’s job and I spent the next few years holding down part-time jobs. I moved back in with my mom, and I needed to empty my England fund to help pay bills. I was lower than low. I started making jewellery and selling it online through a website and on Etsy and at local craft fairs. 15% of what I made was being put straight back into my UK fund. The money was trickling in in small amounts, but I wasn’t giving up. I made high quality Swarovski bracelets and necklaces, so from each sale I was getting between $1-$5 going into my UK fund. My 10-year clock was ticking and I started researching other ways of moving, thinking perhaps attending graduate school in the UK might be an option, or even becoming an Au Pair. I also became desperate to visit the UK, as I hadn’t been since 1997. But I knew that once I got a glimpse of Old Blighty again, I wouldn’t want to leave.

I met Tim online in 2004 and shared my dreams with him. He was very encouraging and told me that once I had enough money together to finance a trip I could come and stay with him in his spare room for as long as I needed while I job hunted. If I landed a job near him, he was willing to let me room with him until I could afford my own place. I was floored as no one had offered me this kind of encouragement before other than my friends Erin and John. We met in person in 2005 in Seattle and I didn’t get to spend as much time with him as I would have liked, but it was enough to know that I would feel safe staying with him if I came to the UK. That Christmas, he sent me a copy of Bill Bryson’s “Notes from a Small Island” with the inscription “to tide you over until you are here”. At the time, I was dating someone who didn’t understand my dream, and who enjoyed quoting “inconceivable” from The Princess Bride at me whenever I brought it up.

Tim and I continued our friendship and I developed another idea for moving. I was going to try to get a job again at IKEA and then work my way to transferring to a UK store. I used my connections from my 1998 job at the Philadelphia store to get a job assisting with opening the Canton, MI store. Unfortunately I broke my foot that summer and wound up needing to leave my job and moved back in with my mother in PA. My England account stood at around $200, not even enough for half of a plane ticket. I was depressed. If I wanted to meet my goal, I was running out of time. I began to think that a move to the UK just wasn’t in the cards for me.

In 2008 I finally decided I was just going to come to the UK. I would sell my car and use the proceeds for a plane ticket, and stay in Tim’s spare room for as long as I could. I hoped that I might be able to do some job hunting while I was visiting. In mid-2008, Tim and I confessed our feelings for each other and began dating. We decided that I would use my upcoming trip to determine if I really wanted to live in the UK. I would stay for a few months and in addition to seeing the sights I would experience doing things that people who live there do – things like grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, etc.

I fell in love.

We extended my visit to the alloted 6 months on my visitor visa, and I returned to the US, determined to make the permanent move. The obvious solution would be marriage, but I didn’t want Tim to marry me just so I could move to the UK and I really wanted to get to the UK on my own merits. In the end, I did marry Tim, but we waited until we were both ready for it and both wanted it.

I entered the UK on my two-year spousal visa in January 2010. This December, I become eligible for permanent residency. And then, I have a date with Westminster Abbey.

Nothing is inconceivable, you just have to persevere.

*An Anglophile is someone who is fond of all things British. At the age of 17, this meant I watched Monty Python, Mr Bean, AbFab, and Are You Being Served on PBS.
**Technically speaking, Westminster is not a Cathedral, but I thought it was when I was 17.

This coming week’s topic is “food memory”…I have no idea if I even have any food memories….

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

[LJ readers reading this on the LJ RSS feed: Please click on the link at the top of the entry to go directly to my blog to leave a comment, as comments left on the LJ RSS do not get seen by me. Facebook users can comment directly on Facebook.]

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Happy Thanksgiving Part 2

Today, my family (on my Mom’s side) will be gathering in my aunt’s basement to celebrate Thanksgiving together as a family. My mom is the youngest of 9, so the numbers can range anywhere from 20 to over 40, depending on who is available. I loved family Thanksgiving. When I was younger, my cousins Jennifer, April, and I used to pretend to be waitresses and brought people their dessert. Once I knew how to write nicely, I was allowed to write out the placecards and put stickers on them. Thanksgiving has always meant a lot to me, and it’s always hard being away from my family on such an important date.

I sent my mom about 100 photos of the past year to share with the family, sent some flowers, picked some blog posts for Mom to print out to share, and wrote this letter.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dear Family,

I hope you all can forgive me for not being there for Thanksgiving once again and for not being able to visit in 2011 like I had hoped. I would love to say I will be visiting in 2012, but it will all depend on the prices of airline tickets and what available time we have.

I’ve now spent my second year in the UK, and I still love living here. I could do without some of the cold weather, but I’m coping. At least it hasn’t snowed yet.

This year has seen a major change for us. Tim went on an interview for a higher position with his company (Network Rail) in December, and we found out in late January that he was being offered the position. There was a lot of back and forth with the company over Tim’s training, and in fact he did not complete his training until June and July and started his new position in August when we returned from our holiday in Wales. You will laugh when I tell you his job title – Tim is a MOM! It stands for Mobile Operations Manager which means he gets called when there is a problem anywhere in Lincolnshire. He loves it. The position is currently temporary (to make a long story short, the LOM in Newark was suspended, so a Lincoln MOM took over in Newark, leaving the Lincoln MOM job open) but if it opens up for a permanent position, Tim is going to apply for it.

Mom came to visit last December for Christmas, and we had a great time – though we were hindered by the snow and ice! Our trip up to Edinburgh got cancelled due to the snow/ice, but we still had a good time. Hopefully, mom has shown you all some of the photos we took while she was here.

In January, we went down to Brighton to visit Tim’s best mate (best friend) and to attend the Brighton Toy and Model Show, where Nick and his dad were displaying some vintage toys. It was fun to attend the show, and I got to see a little bit of Brighton with Tim’s cousin, Chris, and his partner, Phil. While Tim helped Nick out, Chris and Phil took me all over Brighton and showed me Brighton Pier and the Royal Pavilion. While at the show, we saw a model of the USS Intrepid in Legos. It was amazing. We returned from our trip to discover my arm infections were coming back.

In March I wound up in hospital for three days waiting to have surgery to cut out the infection. It all came to a head on a Sunday night when I reached out for a cup of tea and screamed in pain. Tim phoned up the NHS advice line, and they told him to take me directly to A&E (Accidents an Emergencies/the ER). A&E kept me in until 3AM when they finally sent me home to return on Monday morning to be admitted. Mom should have the blog post I wrote about my experience in hospital. It wasn’t too bad, and of course, it was free. Can’t really find fault with free! Fortunately, Tim was on his scheduled week off from work while I was in hospital. Unfortunately, it was the week we had planned on doing our vegetable plot, so we didn’t have a veggie patch this year.

In April, I attended the Royal Wedding! Well, okay, not really, but I did join the crowds outside Westminster Abbey to catch a glimpse of the royal family. I had a great time and it was nice to see the whole country come together for a celebration like that. Probably a once (or twice, if Prince Harry gets married) in a lifetime chance!

In May I was off to Birmingham to compete with my chorus. Unfortunately, we did not do as well as we had hoped, and we lost several members as a result. We also held a one-day workshop when we got back, and we gained several members. I also have been appointed Lead Section Leader alongside my friend Jan. This means we’re in charge of the ladies in our section and help to make decisions about the chorus. So far, I’m enjoying it.

I also found out in May that my close friend, M, was going to need a hysterectomy at the age of 34. She lives in Florida and does not have heath insurance because her employer did not offer it. I have been doing everything I can from here to help her raise money, including donating a few photos for her to sell on her website. She had her surgery in October, and if you’re interested in reading about her you can check her blog at http://giveneyestosee.com/blog.

Mom rang us up one night in May to tell me that my cat, Will, had passed away while at the vet. I was very upset and Prudence (Tim’s cat) must have known because ever since then she has been stuck to me like glue. She sits on my lap while we’re watching TV and curls up next to me in bed. I think she knew I needed a cat in my life.

June and July were quiet. Tim got sent on his course, which was a residential course down near London, so he was gone Monday to Friday. It was interesting spending time alone in the house! I decided to go down for one week and stay with Tim since the hotel was free and spent a week sightseeing in London and visiting some friends who live in London.

In July, a friend from high school came to visit for a few days while she was travelling in the UK and it was nice to see someone from “back home”. I also still visit with my friend Jessy, who I went to high school and Penn State with, whenever we have time to get together.

In August, we went on a two-week camping trip to Wales. We would have loved to have gone back to Austria, but we were trying to save a little money by staying in the UK. We had a great time. Our campsite was gorgeous (see photos if I remember to send them to Mom in time). We spent our time with some of our friends who also happened to be in Wales the same week as us, and we took Tim’s brother, Ben, and his girlfriend, Marie, with us for a few days. We spent most of our time riding railways because it was what I wanted to do when Tim asked me to pick things to do. It rains a lot in Wales, so I wasn’t in the mood for looking at castles in the rain. Better to look at the scenery out the window of a train!

When we returned from our holiday, Tim started his new position, and he’s barely been at home since. There is a lot of overtime on offer with this job in the fall, so Tim has been taking it when it’s been offered.

In September, the winds came. It blew down half of our lilac tree and also started blowing all the apples off our tree, before I was ready for them. I spent several weeks canning apple butter and apple sauce, and I think I now have enough to last a year!

Tim had a week booked off in November, and we went up to Edinburgh for a few days so I could finally see it. This was our third attempt at going, and third time is obviously the charm!

The day we got back I had to sit my Life in the UK test. It’s one of the requirements for my permanent residency and eventual citizenship. The test wasn’t hard, but I worked myself up over it.

We also went down to visit Nick again, and on the way home, our car broke down. We had to wait 5 hours for the RAC (like the AAA) to tow us back home, and I’ve been battling a cold ever since. I don’t have much of a voice to speak with, so I don’t think I’ll be calling today.

In December, we will be applying for my ILR (permanent residency). This will cost £1400 (nearly $2k), but it means I will be able to live in the UK permanently. In 2013 I will be eligible for citizenship, too, at which point I will then hold dual citizenship with the US.

After we get my ILR, I plan on applying for my provisional license. Since they need me to send my passport, I have been unwilling to send it until I had my residency. I don’t really need to drive, but it sure would be nice. Especially now that Tim is driving a work vehicle and the car is here all day. I’d be able to get to places not serviced by the bus!

I hope everyone is doing well!

I sent Mom some photos to share, and she has printed out a few of my blog entries for anyone who wants to read them. If you have internet access, you can read my blog at http://blog.beccajanestclair.com. I try to update it as much as possible. I’m also on facebook – http://ww.facebook.com/beccajanestclair for those of you who don’t have me added. You also can email me – rebeccajlockley@googlemail.com. You can IM, video call, or call me on Skype. My account there can be found under annaonthemoon. For those of you who don’t have internet access, our address is:

[removed for blog post. If you need my address, ask!]

I still have my US-based phone number, too. If you want to call me, you can call [removed]. The number is based in Michigan, so all you pay is long distance to Michigan, instead of the UK. Alternately, you can call my google voice number to leave me a message at [removed]. This is a Lancaster number, but it only goes to a voicemail account and I would have to call you back (which I can do for free). My UK number is [removed]. You would drop off the initial 0 when dialling from the US.

I look forward to hearing from you! Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!!

If any of you ever decide to visit the UK, please let me know, I’d love to see you!

With Love,

Rebecca & Tim

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

[LJ readers reading this on the LJ RSS feed: Please click on the link at the top of the entry to go directly to my blog to leave a comment, as comments left on the LJ RSS do not get seen by me. Facebook users can comment directly on Facebook.]

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The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Good
• We had a great time in Edinburgh
• I passed my Life in the UK test
• We visited Tim’s best mate in Shoreham-by-Sea
• I spent 2 days with my friend Jessy in Winchester

The Bad
• I got shoved into a wet paint pole at the railway station and got paint all down the arm of a new cardigan
• The car broke down on the way home from Shoreham-by-Sea

The Ugly
• After waiting outside in the cold for 5 hours with the car, I no longer have a voice and have a bad cold.
• Car repairs totalled £450

As a result, I’ve had to drop NaBloPoMo…I missed too many days in there and forgot to schedule things. *sigh*. But then again, with the move over to BlogHer, I somehow missed getting myself on the official rollcall list for it anyway. Oh well. I’ll try to post each day until the end of the month, but with skipping five days, I don’t think I can consider myself a participant any more.

One more good – White Spirit took the paint off my cardigan. It still reeks after a trip through the washing machine, but I’ve got it hanging outside to air it out.

I’ll write about the car in another entry. It’s an interesting story.

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

[LJ readers reading this on the LJ RSS feed: Please click on the link at the top of the entry to go directly to my blog to leave a comment, as comments left on the LJ RSS do not get seen by me. Facebook users can comment directly on Facebook.]

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Two Years Ago Today….

I married my best friend.

Happy Anniversary Tim!

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

[LJ readers reading this on the LJ RSS feed: Please click on the link at the top of the entry to go directly to my blog to leave a comment, as comments left on the LJ RSS do not get seen by me. Facebook users can comment directly on Facebook.]

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Desktop Update

The bad: Video card is fried.
The good: Comuter has an on-board video card that can be used instead
The bad: on-board card isn’t compatible with some of Tim’s video games. Will have to order a new card for £20-50.
The good: at least we can use the desktop while we wait for the video card to come in…

The desktop is still with Pete, but we’ll probably go get it tomorrow or Saturday and set it back up just so we can use it, then when we get the new video card get that installed so the video games work.

Though, if it won’t work with the video games, I’m not sure the on-board video would work with Photoshop CS3 either.

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Computer on the Fritz!

Our desktop is on the fritz for sure, and we aren’t sure what’s wrong with it. On Thursday I got up to get a cup of tea and when I got back to the desk, the monitor was displaying loads of funky colours and the computer appeared to be frozen. So, I hit the power button to restart. I did this about three times and finally I got to Windows Recovery. Followed a half an hour later by a message that Windows could not recover itself and the recommendation was to restore from a previous auto-backup. I didn’t want to do this, since Tim had just moved all his Wales photos onto the computer and I was worried the auto-backup would be from before the transfer, so I started downloading Knoppix on my laptop to make a DVD so I could pull the files off onto an external like I had to do in 2009 when we came home from a weekend away to a broken computer.

My laptop has recently been reformatted and fixed, so it doesn’t have any of my files on it. I wanted a file off my external, so I unplugged it from the desktop and on a whim, restared. The computer started up, and my friend falnfenix advised to always unplug the external before a reboot. Even though the problem had never happened before, it appeared as though the desktop had been trying to boot from the external, which of course doesn’t have an OS.

Problem solved, right? Uhm, no. We were away for most of the weekend staying with N and P at their place and doing various things (shopping for their new addition to the family, celebrating birthdays, taking the girls out for the bank holiday). We were home on Sunday, and the computer acted up once, so we restarted it right before we walked out the door and it hadn’t fully loaded by the time we were ready to leave so we just left it on.

When we got back yesterday evening, it was to a colourful screenful again. We attempted to restart several times with no luck, but at one point we discovered that Windows was in fact still loading (we heard the start up music), so the problem wasn’t with the OS. Next thought was the cables to the monitor were loose, so Tim unplugged, re-plugged, and jiggled things around. Still nothing. We were just trying to decide what we wanted to do and suddenly the problem was fixed. Again.

It didn’t last long.

So now we’re stuck. It’s either the monitor that’s gone or the video card, but either way it will involve a trip to a shop and it’s not something that will happen soon as Tim’s just started his round of late shift with on-call and doesn’t switch to the early shift until Thursday next week. We just aren’t organized enough to get out in the morning before his shift starts!

So I’m on the laptop for now. I have my Wales photos on my external, but I don’t have photoshop on my laptop (I’m not even sure if my laptop can handle photoshop) and I can’t watermark anything, so I probably won’t be posting any more photos until I either get photoshop sorted or get the desktop sorted.

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

[LJ readers reading this on the LJ RSS feed: Please click on the link at the top of the entry to go directly to my blog to leave a comment, as comments left on the LJ RSS do not get seen by me. Facebook users can comment directly on Facebook.]

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Neglectful

I’ve been neglecting my blog over here this month as various things have kept me from making updates…and I’m about to go away for 2 weeks, so there goes updating for most of August, too.

One of these days I’m going to actually get back into the swing of blogging, I promise….that is, if anyone still reads! 😀

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Thank You (Update on Miss M)

I just wanted to thank all of my friends who have assisted Miss M so far. Miss M has now raised over $1300 in her Hysterectomy Fund!

Thank you to ALL of you who have donated money, crafted items for us to sell in PhoenixFunds, or purchased items from her shop. It means a lot to Miss M, and to me as well to know that there are caring people out there!

But…we still have a goal to meet. M is halfway to her downpayment amount, and of course, this does not include any of the actual costs associated with the surgery itself, the hospital fees, or any other fees. So, we need to continue to fundraise.

EDIT TO ADD: And, Miss M just found out that she is getting NO ASSISTANCE on the ER hospital bill, a total of over $8,000.

Please pass on links to my site, to her site, to the shops, anything you can do to help continue to spread the word.

Here are all the links to help M:

Her Website: http://giveneyestosee.com/blog

Blow-by-blow: http://giveneyestosee.com/blog/hysterectomy/

Donated items Storefront: http://PhoenixFunds.etsy.com
[FYI, we are currently having technical difficulties with our shop, please check back as we hope to have it up and running again soon!]

Her Storefront: http://PhoenixFireDesigns.etsy.com

Her Website: http://www.phoenixfiredesigns.com

Direction Donations via Paypal: http://tiny.cc/hysterectomy

Direct Donations via Fund Me: http://www.gofundme.com/hysterectomy

Address for mailing things:
Miss M. Turner
PO BOX 1484
Elfers, FL 34680
USA

If you’re a crafter and sell on Etsy, consider joining our Team and giving us an item to sell for M’s behalf. If you don’t sell on Etsy, but would still like to contribute an item for sale, drop us a comment. Alternately, Miss M is also fundraising through sales of non-arts and craft items on eBay, so if you have anything hanging around that might be profitable, I’m sure she’d be glad to take it off your hands!

I also am looking for other charities we might not have contacted yet, so if you are in the Tampa area and have any leads, please pass them on! I also have been contacting local media outlets in Tampa, so again, if you have a contact to share, please leave us a comment.

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

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Update on Miss M (or US Healthcare Sucks)

Here’s an update on my friend, Miss M. She’s received the bill from the hospital for her ER stay, and including a 40% non-insurance discount, the total for that bill is over US$8,000. This means Miss M now needs to raise over US$10,000 before she can even schedule her surgery. The goalpost just jumped by over 375% (Tim says about 384%). Again, this doesn’t include ANY of the fees/charges involved with her eventual surgery or interim OB/GYN visits.


[photo above © M. Turner]

I know you’re probably getting sick of seeing me post about this, but M is one of my nearest and dearest. I won’t beg for you to help her, but new items have been added to PhoenixFunds, including some photographs I have submitted. Please take a look at either Miss M’s shop, PhoenixFunds, or her direct website. Again, if you are a crafter or artist and would like to donate an item to be sold for Miss M’s benefit, please contact me in the comments..

Her Website: http://giveneyestosee.com/blog

Blow-by-blow: http://giveneyestosee.com/blog/hysterectomy/

Donation Storefront: http://PhoenixFunds.etsy.com

Her Storefront: http://PhoenixFireDesigns.etsy.com

Her Website: http://www.phoenixfiredesigns.com

Please pass these links along, re-tweet them, put them on Facebook, write a blog entry about Miss M, pass along my blog links…anything we can do to “boost the signal” and to help get M the help she needs. Especially if you’ve got any crafty friends because we are in need of crafty items!

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

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Grey Hair?!

How on earth did I get a grey hair? I’m no where near old enough. Or wise enough!

Tim and I were out in the garden and as the sun was catching the hair that fell out of my hair clip, I noticed it. Shiny, coarse, and bright….I found my first grey hair.

I can do one of three things about it…

1. Grow grey gracefully and embrace the grey

2. Pluck, pluck, pluck

3. Dye it, baby

Tim says he doesn’t want me to dye my hair because he likes my hair the way it is, but I don’t know if I can like it grey! And if I pluck every grey hair I ever get…well, don’t they say that for every grey you pluck, two more grow in it’s place?

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

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Sending Packages

I created a list of US items for my snack swap partners and people sending me packages to take a look at. If you want to look at it, it’s here: http://www.blog.beccajanestclair.com/what-to-send/.

The list is long, but I tried to think of everything from the US I would consider a treat to give my swap partners plenty of items to pick from.

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Help for a Friend

One of my closest friends, Miss M has a problem. A really, big problem.

She needs to have a hysterectomy at the age of 34 to remove her uterus and possibly an ovary. From her blog:

I have two fibroids in my uterus the size of baseballs (exact quote from doctor) and two cysts as large too. They are apparently at the point where you can feel them through the skin and they’re so big it’s causing blinding pain and need to be removed. Most likely on Wednesday I will have laproscopic surgery to remove my uterus.

In a later post, M explains that her uterus is the same size of a woman who is four months pregnant, only she’s well, not pregnant.

Here’s the bad news….

Finally had the doctor’s office call me back. She’s saying I can’t do the surgery tomorrow because they need to see me pre-op. No shit, that’s why I’ve been calling since I was discharged Monday. She says the office visit for the pre-op is $140. Fine, no problem. But then she says they need $2,000 UP FRONT for the surgery.

You see, M is like many other women in the US who do not have health insurance. She works part-time and does not get insurance from her company. Now, I could get up on my soap box and start talking to you about how horrible it is that the US doesn’t have universal healthcare — and it IS horrible. But that’s not going to help M out.

M designs beautiful jewellery over at Phoenix Fire Designs. Even though I myself make jewellery, I have many pieces made by M, including a tree of life, and most recently I purchased a custom bracelet for my mom for Mother’s day, and a bird’s nest necklace for my Mother-in-Law. Currently, I keep eyeing a bracelet and earring set on her site, too.

If you’re wary of purchasing items off a regular website, M also runs an Etsy shop. You might want to check with her before ordering a custom piece, as I’m not sure what she is doing right now as she waits to have her surgery.

You can also, if you so choose, make a donation directly to M via her paypal account. There is a donation link embedded in her most recent blog post.

Thanks for reading.

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

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Rest in Peace, Will 3 Jan 2004 – 13 May 2011

My mom texted Tim last night to have him tell me she was taking my beloved kitty, Will, to the vet. They thought he had a urine infection possibly.

From what I know, his bladder was swollen so badly it caused him to have a heart attack right on the vet’s table. Mom was with him.

I got Will in January 2004. I just decided that I really wanted to have a cat of my own, and so we went off to the humane society in Lancaster, PA. They had two kittens in their kitten room. One was a white girl kitten who was skittish and hid from me in the play room, and the other was Will. He craweled all over me and perched on my shoulder, and I just knew he was the right kitten for me. The vet estimated he was only about 4 or 5 weeks old, so that puts his birthday somewhere around the end of November 2003/beginning of December. I always said that January 3 was his birthday :).

Will originally got his name from Will of Will & Grace….and he would actually watch Will & Grace with me and anytime someone said “Will”, he would look up. He also gained nicknames, like William Shakespeare (espcially after I heard the Arrogant Worms Song “William Shakespeare’s in my Cat”), and even Prince William on occasion.

He was a special kitty. I still remember when he was a kitten and I couldn’t find him anywhere in my apartment…..and then I opened the fridge. He had managed to climb into the fridge while I had been preparing my dinner!

He was a curious and friendly cat. Will expected everyone who walked through the door to greet him and rub his tummy. If you didn’t, he would make sure to rub up against your legs and bother you until you did. He worked better than a doorbell for alerting us to people! He needed to know what you were doing, watching, reading, or eating…he even drank green tea on a few occasions — but no other “people food”. He never begged for food from the table, he just wanted to see what you were eating.

He knew when I was upset and would come and lay down next to me as if to say “it’ll be alright”. When I missed Tim and would be crying, Will was there. If Mom and I were on video chat with each other and Will heard my voice, he came over to “see” me and would try to lick the webcam.

I was looking forward to the day when we could finally move Will over to the UK so he could join us here. I’m going to miss him a lot….that crazy little furball meant the world to me.


Rest in Peace, my brave kitty.

Will
3 Jan 2004 – 13 May 2011

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Sweet Adeline’s Region 31 Convention

This past weekend, Lincoln Sounds travelled to Birmingham to participate in this year’s Quartet of Nation’s annual convention/competition.

We didn’t do so good.

Last year, we came home with a bronze medal. This year, we came home all feeling a bit dejected and ho-hum about our score, which I won’t be posting to my blog, it hurts too much.

The only thing we can do is remain positive, and consider that next year, we could win “most improved chorus” 😀

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Ebay ShmeBay

*sigh* I bought a buy-it-now on another one of those Soap & Glory Big Pink totes because I worked it out as being a very cheap option for getting all the S&G items I love using, and I can turn around and re-auction off the items I don’t like/can’t use.

Problem! The set is missing an item. I double checked the auction listing, and the missing item was listed as being included. What can I do other than a polite message to the seller? I can’t really dispute it with PayPal since I have most of the item, and I really don’t want to deal with trying to send this back, as it’s a large package and it looks like the seller uses drop shipping for their auctions.

They have LOADS of these sets on offer on eBay, so I’m thinking the missing item might not even be their fault – it might not have been in the original since when we bought the first big pink, I had to check through a few boxes before I found one that hadn’t had an item stolen from it as they are not sealed in the store. Either way though, they promised me that item was included, so shouldn’t they do something about it? Either send me the missing item (which I’m not overly fussed about, to be honest. It smells nice, but I don’t absolutely NEED it) or send me a partial refund?

How long should I wait before doing anything other than emailing the seller and what are my options other than leaving negative feedback? This seller also NEVER once contacted me, even to say “your item has been shipped”, so I’m not super impressed either way, and was planning on noting the lack of communication on the feedback.

For my own record keeping: Seller contacted through eBay’s “contact the seller” on Sunday, 8 May.

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.
For my own records: First message sent via ebay’s “contact the seller” on Sunday 8 May 5PMish.

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A Very Scary Phone Call

My husband has just left for work, and the phone rings at 17:17. I picked it up, and there was silence on the other end. I stayed on, thinking it might be Tim calling from his mobile at a traffic light or something and I repeat hello a few more times. A female Indian voice (from India, not Indian as in Native American) gets on the line and says to me “Is this [insert our street address?]”. No hello, no asking if I was me or to speak with Tim…just is this [address]. I responded with “I’m not going to verify anything until you tell me where you are calling from”. I got rattled back some random organization name and then “we’re calling on behalf of a grant for this property”.

Me: no, I’m sorry, we don’t have any pending grants for our property (again, not giving name or address)
Woman: I am calling to tell you about them
Me: No, we’re not interested. (woman starts talking over me) Please take us off your calling list. (Woman still talking over me) Thank you.
Woman: [pause for breath]
Me: Please take us off your list. (woman starts talking over me again) Thank you.
Woman: [pause for breath]
Me: Excuse me, we are not interested. (I suppose at this point I should have just hung up, but generally, if the other person hears you say “please take us off your list” they respond back with “Yes I will do that. Sorry” and I was waiting for confirmation that she heard me)
Woman: How about your husband, I bet he is interested
Me: No one in this house is interested. Please remove us from your list.
Woman: No, I will not remove you. We will keep on calling you. I will give your number to everyone I know and then everyone will call you [woman slams phone down].

Cue MASSIVE panic attack.

I tried 1471*, and I get the response that the number wasn’t recorded or something like that. So I called BT. Spoke with a lovely man named Roger. Roger explained that he couldn’t trace the call because the message I received indicates that the phone call originated from overseas. I told him about the phone call, but there was nothing he could do, he said. I asked him if I should file a police report, and he said I could if I wanted to, but without the phone number there isn’t much that could be done.

I’m really quite shaken up right now over it. I mean, I get that it was just a telemarketer (though to get around the fact that we have our number registered, the operator will always tell you that it is a survey and they do not have to comply with the telemarketing list**), but you don’t threaten people like that!

And, it’s 17:44. The phone just rang. I jumped out of my skin and was honestly afraid to answer it (it was a friend of mine).

*Edit* 18:14 – Spoke with Tim. He doesn’t think I need to worry about it and thinks that if anyone calls us I should just slam the phone down. When I pointed out to him that they had our phone number and address – he pointed out that anyone with a local phone book could get the same. I’m feeling much better now and we’ve decided that if someone from India wants to waste their money calling the UK to get their jollies off — let ’em. If the call had been more local, then I’d have grounds to file a police report and things, but as it’s coming from India, I don’t think we’re in any danger of people showing up on our doorstep.

*If you have a BT Landline in the UK, 1471 will repeat back to you the last number that called. I think it’s similar to *69 in the US (or is it *66? I never used it, so I don’t know!)
**I know this is true in the US, as I used to work at a company that did satisfaction surveys fur nursing facilities and we were allowed to call family members who were listed on the Do Not Call list because we were conducting a survey. I have no idea if this is true in the UK, but it’s what both Tim and I have been told when people like this call us.

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

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More Self Promotion

In addition to listing myself with Network Blogs, I’ve now got a page on Facebook for my blog. If you’re a facebook user, could you please go “like” my page here? You don’t have to add me as a friend (though if you want to, feel free), but I’d appreciate the “likes” on Facebook 🙂

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The contents of this post, including images are © Rebecca J Lockley and Tim Lockley unless otherwise stated and should not be reproduced without permission. If you are not reading this on http://blog.beccajanestclair.com, my facebook page, or the RSS feed(s), please notify me.

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